Smile, it shows how strong you really are.

Almost November already.

The last time I blogged it was my birthday.

Much shit has happened since then.

Grandmother passed away :(. Ironic that in my last post I mentioned no one relatively close to me has left me.

Was a horrible feeling. I thought I was okay when I first heard the news, took a flight back home the next day. I thought I would be strong, that I would take it like a man.

But upon reaching home, I broke down seeing all my relatives mourning and crying. I didn't imagine it to be this hard. I couldn't exactly bring myself to the coffin where my grandmother was laid.

But that was 2 months ago. I am in a much better shape compared to then. Am already back in Melbourne, and life just goes on. And Melbourne's weather isn't exactly helping. Sometimes a little too hot, sometimes too cold, sometimes its pouring like a bitch.

Now, am looking forward to going home at the end of November.

I need a new start.

RIP, Madam Tee Siew Poi, beloved grandmother.

I dreamt.

I dreamt I was nose bleeding.

It seemed so real.

But yet I didn't want it to stop.

Instead, I tilted my head down.

And gushes of blood came waterfalling down.

Somehow, I felt relieved, as if I'm dropping off a burden.

A burden I had within me for so long.

Or maybe I was relieved to know that I can still bleed.

That there's still more to me than what's on the outside.

Cliche, but I bleed just to know I'm alive.

But it doesn't matter, as if you'd care.

Next plane home, or away?

My bitch (Not in any homo way, he's just a bitch) Shen left for Melbourne a few days ago to do summer school.

His place is the Malaysian Blackhole (If you're wondering, the Melbourne blackhole is my puny apartment.)

Now I know how the Melbournians felt like when I left back for Malaysia earlier. (HEY AT LEAST YOU GUYS STILL CAN ENTER BHOLE IN MELB W/O ME THERE)

There's this weird void.

Normally, I would go straight to his place when I arrive in PJ before deciding what to do next.

Now I have to decide where to go before heading down towards PJ! (Maybe park next door say hi to Tert ._.)

Just last night I fetched Khreetiong (Khee Siong; Creature version) to the LCCT for his flight back to Singapore.

And Claire's left for Melb even earlier than Shen.

Yun and Hon Sen are already gone.

Vincent suddenly in KL, suddenly in PJ.

Arif tak ajak.

Then Boonie (might) leave for Japan today.

Then the UK people are also leaving soon.

Then Kennieboy is going Langkawi with Darshy and Yoskie and all.

And bastards Jay Son and Yond are interning.

Ooo Chloe's interning too.

Face Problem has exams.

Chinky.... busy with someonela.

Left Daniel, who is also leaving on Saturday.

AM I THE ONLY STAGNANT ONE? HOLY COW I NEED TO DO SOMETHING

Ohnooo, emo lar.

Emo Shen and June, Photoshopped by abuden Me

Actually, Shen's just meraba-rabaing. Horny Bitch.

Seems like Shen's the only one who has been bumming with me in Msia. Others were always that busy. =O







Moral of the story: I should've made friends with Shen's dad instead. Then I'll still be hanging out @ 32 Tr 7/2.

OMG. Get a life me.

2008 + 1 = 2009

2009?

What happened to 2008?

How did everything felt like a drag at one point of the time and feels like a blur now?

Early this year I was all hyped up about university, living in a new place, meeting new people.

Now it's suddenly time for a new year.

Another set of 365.25 days.

I wanted to make a list of what I did for 2008, but I reconsidered.

Because in general, I did NOTHING

And I'm not really proud of it.

2008 has been a year of ups and downs, but mostly downs for me.

I was at the trough of my life during semester 2 in Melbourne.

Seriously, I think I can cry, thinking back about it.

After all I'm really emotional, not emo, emotional. Note the difference!

Everything seemed like it was spiraling downwards.

I don't see a point in my life anymore.

There were days where I wished there was this "Off" button on my neck.

But then I wondered, "What will happen to my Facebook account if I died?!"

That silly thought kept me going.

And of course, being able to see my cherished friends and family helped too.

What would I do without you guys?

Oh, horoscopes are really freaky.

They give this subliminal message, but whatever you are going through is really true as stated.

I mean, how can one horoscope apply to all Leos?

Seriously, there's so many people born with the same horoscope as you.

My horoscope today was

It's still all about those around you with the Moon in your 7th House of Relationships. You cannot exist in a void; there must be an easy rhythm to your life now, so you can dance through your day. But progress could be very slow; don't worry if it seems like you're not gaining ground. The leap ahead will happen before you know it.

And before I read it there was really something in my head, about not gaining ground on a certain something.

Stop getting into my head Mr. Rick Levine! (The dude in tarrot.com)



Aaaaanyways.

All the best for 2009, people.

Happy New Year

Sometimes..

Wait, most of the times, things just don't go the way you want them to be.

And you really wonder what have you done to deserve shit like this.

And the worst is when these things pile up.

And they just keep re-entering your thoughts every other time.

But all you do is bottle them all up, because no one actually understands the way you feel.

You put on this mask of a cheerful, happy-go-lucky human while deep inside, you continue to dwell with all the shit happening to you.

Soon there will be a time, a point, where you won't be able to take it any more, and you just feel like giving up on life.

And that is when you finally feel you have to let the world know your pain, your suffering.

And the urge to spill out all your problems will shoot up.

But no, you thought to yourself, as layers after layers of these feelings/problems unfold upon you.

You cannot afford to vent them out, because some things are better left unspoken.

Because some things will destroy the status quo.

Because some things will only complicate the already overcomplicated situation.

Because letting them out is a double-edged sword.

You will feel a lot better, but things will become worse.

So you sit in one corner, waiting for someone to make a move.

Waiting for one to open up first and finally say "FUCK THIS. WHAT'S HAPPENING"

While in the meantime, you continue leading this terrible life in the shadows of the day.

Distance..

Caught a glimpse of you with my eyes

All I see, a butterfly

Then this familiar feeling came by

Was it a joke, was it a lie?

Did the whiskey get me high?

Should I try or say goodbye?

Does it matter if try?

Will tears flow even if i cry?



Sometimes things really seems so near... yet so far


























































OMFG IM EMO!

Been thinking...

Judging from the fact that Mr Tay's blog has so much suspense and drama, I figured I should go all emo in the virtual world, while being a fucker in the real life, just like Mr Tay himself (No offence there shenny =X).

First I have this new emo-looking banner.

Now, time to emosify myself.

After analyzing Mr Tay's blog, I found out that to really make ourselves emo, we must insult humans.

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Humans. Why do we even exist? Why do we have feelings that no other creatures on earth feel?

The pain.

The sorrow.

The immense sadness, as we sit at a corner, thinking about our pitiful lives.

The feeling of a thousand needles, stabbed so mercilessly into our buttholes.

Yet we can't let it all out.

Can't we even shit in peace?

F#CK YOU CONSTIPATION!

Humans are so stupid. We eat, just to shit it all out in the end. And sometimes, it's just not worth eating. Things are never worth it anyway. Sometimes they stay, and we suffer, constipating, sitting on the toilet bowl, grinding our teeth. We even express our feelings through various Ughs and Aghs. But no, nothing ever happens. And to make it worse, these things we call "Mother" will freaking lecture us about not eating vegetables.

Vegetables. I hate them. They are so full of themselves. Thinking they will help us past motion. Screw you. Screw all of you! I hope you reincarnate as humans, and go through the same suffering as I had.

And hell, if it's not constipation, its diarrhoea. Things just never go the way you want them to be. And this "Mother" will again nag you for eating unhealthy food.

IF IT'S SO UNHEALTHY, WHY CAN WE EAT IT?

Seriously, why should we bother eating at all?

Humans contradict themselves. Earning salary to pay for food, yet let all the food out.

God is playing a practical joke on us all.


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Damn it. I can't pull off an emo blog. Tips anyone?

By the way, lame jokes!

A: Have you heard of the show called "Constipated"?
B: No.
A: Don't worry, it hasn't start yet.


A: How about this show "Diarrhoea"?
B: No
A: Oh, it's still running.