Far too long.

Been far too long since I blogged. I dunno why this keeps happening the hype just dies down after like a month.

Anyways, short one. I was reading jokes off the internet and I can't help but to post this.

Will try to update more.

You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, 'Fuck it - just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport'.

You Know Why?

I know this might sound gay but I like the song Love Story by Taylor Swift.

"Marry me Juliet, you don't have to be alone, I love you and that's all I really know...."

In case you didn't know I like these kinda fairytale happy ending crap.

I know, I know shit this sounds gay T_T.

But maybe because these kinda fairytale happy ending crap will never ever happen to anyone in real life. =(

Now on to the main topic.

Seriously JC, you've brought the utmost selfpawn against yourself when you told us about this.

Here's what JayCee told us:

OK here's how this "you know why" thing works. Whenever someone says something sad about him/herself, you ask them "You know why?" and when they ask "Why?" you reply back "Face Problem".

So afterwards, he was complaining why he doesn't have a girlfriend.

You Know Why, Jeremy Chang?

FACE PROBLEM!

Heeeeeeeeee

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This picture's got P-E-R-V spelt all over it! HEEEEEEEEEEE

Dr. Horrible!

Okay, Mr Oxymoron here gave me a link a couple of days ago to this www.drhorrible.com . It's a sing-a-long blog posted straight to the internet made during the Writers' Strike by Joss Whedon (creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer series.)

It stars Neil Patrick Harris (Barney in How I Met Your Mother), Nathan Fillion and Felicia Day. This thingy consists of 3 acts, 1st one released on the 15th July, 2nd one on 17th, and the final one on 19th. They took down everything after 20th July, where they will see the response and will probably make it into a movie/series/whatever if there is a good response. Also, the 3 acts will be available to be bought from iTunes.

It's about this Dr. Horrible aspiring to get into the Evil League of Evil, led by Bad Horse, the thoroughbred of sin. This depicts that sometimes, not all Superheroes or Supervillains are cool (Wait till you see Bad Horse)

Pretty awesome. Many might get bored during the beginning of the 1st act thinking "WTF IS THIS? GIMME BARNEY STINSON AND HIS LEGENDARY STUFF" and whatnot, but listen carefully and it's actually filled with sarcasm and dim-witted humour. And then the good stuff begins, the singing.

Didn't know the Neil Patrick Harris used to be on Broadway singing in Rent. Good voice, reminds me of Princeton's voice in Avenue Q.

All in all a fantastic 40 minute thingy (All 3 acts combined). And being the cheapskate that we all are, I managed to find all 3 acts on another site so I'll embed all below. Enjoy the awesomeness.

When do you say "What The F*ck?"?: Jeremy

Seriously JEREMY CHANG. What. The. FACK?!

What is happening to the world? Weird shit happening everyday. To me. T_T

And JY (JEREMY YAP) sent me a link showing this picture (VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. SCROLL DOWN TO CONTINUE):


















BE PREPARED!

Holy Moly! Spiralling Sperms

THE FACK!? This shit showing an anime figure jerking off was sold for USD 15 MILLION.

Fifteen. Million. =O

Read more here

The world is hopeless. =.=

Two words. Epic Phail.

And Don't name your son Jeremy. They do weird stuff.

Of men, women, and Santa Claus.

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.

Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)



























Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling.














































So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

Men keep scrolling....









































By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen.

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Now playing: Fergie - Clumsy
via FoxyTunes

Achmed The Dead Terrorist

Jeff Dunham is a very famous ventriloquist and a puppeteer. Go watch more of his videos on YouTube!

A Pink Joke.

Dave is driving down a rural highway late at night. He's been driving for a long, LONG time, and he's starting to get REALLY tired, but he is SO far out in the country that there are no hotels or inns ANYWHERE. So finally he decides that he is tired enough to just pull over at the next house and ask to spend the night. He pulls up at a pink house with pink trim, pink shutters, pink windows, and a pink door. He gets out of his car, walks up the pink sidewalk, up the pink driveway, climbs the pink steps, and rings the pink doorbell. A pink lady comes to answer the pink door. Dave explains to her, "Ma'am, I know it's late, but I'm really tired, and if I could just spend the night, I'd really appreciate it." The pink lady says, "Sure, no problem! Come on inside! Go up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and behind the first pink door on your right you'll find a pink bedroom. Inside the pink closet are some pink sheets, pink blankets, and pink pillowcases that you can put on the pink bed and the pink pillows. Sleep well!" So Dave steps inside the pink door, walks up the pink steps, down the pink hallway, and opens the first pink door on the right. He walks into the pink bedroom, goes to the pink closet, and takes out the pink blanket, the pink sheets, and the pink pillowcases. He puts the pink sheets and pink blanket on the bed, and the pink pillowcases on the pink pillows. He climbs under the pink covers, turns out the pink light, and falls immediately asleep.

Time passes. A second man, Bob, is driving down the same highway. He, too, has been driving for quite some time and desperately needs sleep. But there are no hotels or inns anywhere to be found, so Bob decides to pull over at the next house that comes up. He parks in front of the pink house with pink trim, pink shutters, pink windows, and a pink door. He gets out of his car, walks up the pink sidewalk, up the pink driveway, climbs the pink steps, and rings the pink doorbell. The pink lady comes to answer the pink door. Bob explains to her, "Ma'am, I'm really sorry for ringing your doorbell so late at night, but I've been driving for hours and hours, and all I need is to please spend the night?" The pink lady says, "Sure! Come on in! Go up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and behind the second pink door on your right you'll find a pink bedroom. In the pink closet are some pink sheets, pink blankets, and pink pillowcases that you can put on the pink bed and the pink pillows. Sleep well!" So Bob steps inside the pink door, walks up the pink steps, down the pink hallway, and opens the second pink door on the right. He walks into the pink bedroom, goes to the pink closet, and takes out the pink blanket, the pink sheets, and the pink pillowcases. He puts the pink sheets and pink blanket on the bed, and the pink pillowcases on the pink pillows. He climbs under the pink covers, turns out the pink light, and falls immediately asleep.

Time passes. A third man, Fred, is driving down the same highway. Like Dave and Bob, Fred has been driving for a long time, only Fred has been driving longer that either Dave or Bob. He can barely keep his eyes open. Because there are no hotels or inns, Fred decides to pull over at the next house. He parks in front of the pink house with pink trim, pink shutters, pink windows, and a pink door. He gets out of his car, walks up the pink sidewalk, up the pink driveway, climbs the pink steps, and rings the pink doorbell. The pink lady comes to answer the pink door. Fred, so tired he can barely speak, manages to stammer out, "Ma'am, I hate to bother you so late at night, but I really need some sleep. Could I stay at your house?" The pink lady says, "Sure! Come on inside! Go up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and behind the third pink door on your right you'll find a pink bedroom. In the pink closet are some pink sheets, pink blankets, and pink pillowcases that you can put on the pink bed and the pink pillows. Sleep well!" So Fred staggers through the pink door, walks up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and into the third pink door on the right. He walks into the pink bedroom, goes to the pink closet, and takes out the pink blanket, the pink sheets, and the pink pillowcases. He puts the pink sheets and pink blanket on the bed, and the pink pillowcases on the pink pillows. He climbs under the pink covers, turns out the pink light, and falls immediately asleep.

TIME PASSES. The sun rises. Dave wakes up. He climbs out of the pink bed, strips the pink blankets and pink sheets off the pink bed, and takes the pink pillowcases off the pink pillows. He puts the pink blankets, pink sheets, and pink pillowcases into the pink closet, and leaves the pink bedroom. He walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, takes a left, and walks into a pink kitchen with pink cabinets, a pink floor, pink shelves, pink fixtures, and the pink lady, going through the motions of making breakfast. The pink lady says, "Good morning! What would you like for breakfast? We have Corn Flakes or Koko Crunch." Dave says, "Koko Crunch, please." The pink lady goes to the pink cupboard and takes out a pink bowl. She goes to the pink silverware drawer and takes out a pink spoon. She pours some Koko Crunch out of a pink box into the pink bowl, goes to the refrigerator and takes out a pink milk carton, pours the milk into the pink bowl and sets the pink bowl and pink spoon in front of Dave. Dave sits down on the pink chair at the pink table and eats his Koko Crunch. He finishes, thanks the pink lady, goes out of the pink kitchen, out the pink door, down the pink steps, down the pink driveway, down the pink sidewalk, gets into his car and drives away.

A little while later, Bob wakes up. He climbs out of the pink bed, strips the pink blankets and pink sheets off the pink bed, and takes the pink pillowcases off the pink pillows. He puts the pink blankets, pink sheets, and pink pillowcases into the pink closet, and leaves the pink bedroom. He walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, takes a left, and walks into a pink kitchen with pink cabinets, a pink floor, pink shelves, pink fixtures, and the pink lady, going through the motions of making breakfast. The pink lady says, "Good morning! What would you like for breakfast? We have Corn Flakes or Koko Crunch." Bob says, "Koko Crunch, please." The pink lady goes to the pink cupboard and takes out a pink bowl. She goes to the pink silverware drawer and takes out a pink spoon. She pours some Koko Crunch out of a pink box into the pink bowl, goes to the refrigerator and takes out a pink milk carton, pours the milk into the pink bowl and sets the pink bowl and pink spoon in front of Bob. Bob sits down on the pink chair at the pink table and eats his Koko Crunch. He finishes, thanks the pink lady, goes out of the pink kitchen, out the pink door, down the pink steps, down the pink driveway, down the pink sidewalk, gets into his car and drives away.

Finally, Fred wakes up after a long sleep. He climbs out of the pink bed, strips the pink blankets and pink sheets off the pink bed, and takes the pink pillowcases off the pink pillows. He puts the pink blankets, pink sheets, and pink pillowcases into the pink closet, and leaves the pink bedroom. He walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, takes a left, and walks into a pink kitchen with pink cabinets, a pink floor, pink shelves, pink fixtures, and the pink lady, going through the motions of making breakfast. The pink lady says, "Good morning! What would you like for breakfast? We have Corn Flakes or Koko Crunch." Fred says, "Corn Flakes, please." The pink lady goes to the pink cupboard and takes out a pink bowl. She goes to the pink silverware drawer and takes out a pink spoon. She pours some Rice Krispies out of a pink box into the pink bowl, goes to the refrigerator and takes out a pink milk carton, pours the milk into the pink bowl and sets the pink bowl and pink spoon in front of Fred. Fred sits down on the pink chair at the pink table and eats his Corn Flakes. He finishes, thanks the pink lady, goes out of the pink kitchen, out the pink door, down the pink steps, down the pink driveway, down the pink sidewalk, gets into his car and drives away. The moral of the story is: Two out of three people prefer Koko Crunch to Corn Flakes.

Muhuhu. Koko Crunch For The Win!

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Now playing: Pink - You And Your Hand
via FoxyTunes

Whore. Hore. Hor. Ho

Christmas is coming in less than 2 months! Remember when you were young you were told stupid stories about Santa (Okay maybe not so much in Malaysia, here we were told stories about Hang Tuah) till a point where you really believed that a fat dude with a pointy red hat dressed in a red suit and oh not to forget the long, white beard, will actually come down through the chimney and drop you loads of presents when you're asleep on Christmas eve.

Then we realised we had no chimney. But our hopes were still up hoping he can somehow squeeze through the ventilator. And we were so amused he always brought us the right presents. And we were also overjoyed when we found out that the cookie and milk has been eaten, thinking that he liked them.

Then as you grow older you peep into your father's closet and you find a Santa Claus costume. But you still had your hopes up thinking maybe your father wanted to dress up during Halloween as the round red thing.

Then you start wondering why your father would suddenly care about you so much especially during the festive season, asking, "Son, what do you want the most", and you replied with a tone of excitement "A TOY TRAIN! Why you gonna buy one for me dad?", while he replies almost within the split second, usually sternly, "No." This is the point where you start to beg and beg and beg but to no avail.

Then on Christmas day you find yourself a toy train!

Then you grow older. You learn to stay up late. You go downstairs during Christmas hoping to meet Santa. Then you met Santa! Santa was eating your cookie. Santa seems skinnier. Santa was shocked to see you awake. Then you said to Santa "ZOMG WOULDN'T UR'E REINDEERS DIE IF U STAY NEAR THE EQUATOR FOR TOO LONG?". Santa was speechless. Santa seems afraid when you approached him. Santa looked familiar. You pulled Santa's beard. SANTA WAS YOUR FATHER. Then you will be the next idiot to tell this same story.

Anyhow, when you think of Santa the common words that comes to your mind are:
Christmas
Holiday
Presents
Socks
Big
Fat
Obese?
Red
White
Beard
Sleigh
Reindeer
Ho Ho Ho

Speaking of Ho Ho Ho...

Officials in Sydney are warning the upcoming "Santa's" not to use the word as it may be offensive to women. wHOre wHOre wHOre! -_-" What. The. Fack? They where advised to use Ha Ha Ha. Now everyone is Santa. Haha! Yo. Santa here.

Read more here

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Now playing: Ragnarok Online - Christmas in the 13th Month
via FoxyTunes

Telefon Bimbit Aku.

Aku mempunyai sebiji telefon bimbit. Aku amat suka telefon bimbit aku. Aku mendapat telefon bimbit sejak saya berusia dua belas tahun. Pada masa itu, telefon bimbit aku sangat "hip". Nokia 7210 namanya. Warnanya keemas-emasan "Champagne Gold" dan game yang paling best ialah "Snake". Itu snake sangat dingin punya. Saya pro, tidak guna 2 4 6 8 untuk main tapi guna 1 dan 9 ataupun 3 dan 7. Itu snake aku main sampai score 1400 lebih. Best sekali. Kawan-kawan semua pun cemburu pada aku.

Tetapi telefon bimbit itu jadi kuno sangat cepat. Dia mampus seperti dinosaur. Itu telefon bimbit dengan skrin warna warni mula dibuat. Jadi aku pun merajuk kerana mahu main snake yang berwarna. Akhirnya aku berjaya dapat telefon Nokia 3200 setelah bermanja manja dengan ayahku. Tapi malang tidak berbau. Itu telefon tak ada SNAKE! Aku berasa hampa. Itu dunia seperti sudah akhir. Tapi tiba tiba saya ternampak game "Bounce". Mataku bersinar sinar. Aku tekan "Open". Itu loading sangat lama. Tapi aku sabar. Aku tunggu game buka.

Game buka. Saya nampak sebiji bola merah. "Apasal ni?" aku terfikir. Aku mulai tekan butang butang. Game itu semakin menarik perhatian aku. Aku ketagihan. Hari hari aku main bounce. Aku semakin lama, semakin pro. Itu bola merah bergerak begitu pantas seperti ingin keluar dari skrin. Aku best sekali.

Tapi itu pun ketinggalan zaman. Aku bagi emak guna. Aku tidak puas. Aku inginkan lebih. Aku ingin Bounce dalam 3D. Hah! Best kan? Jadi aku nampak poster N70. Tercool sekali. Ia ada 2 megapixel kamera. Boleh ambil photo upskirt! Jadi aku mengambil keputusan untuk beli. Mana tahu, telefon ini menghampakan saya lagi. Tak ada bounce dalam 3d. Tapi ada snake 3d. Tak kisah lah.

Begitulah kisah telefon bimbit aku. Sekian terima kasih.

OK wtf did I just write? Nevermind. Anyhow, here's something that happened today. It was a normal Tuesday, I was doing my normal thing, but (you guessed it) something abnormal happened! At 7++ pm. I received a call on my telefon bimbit. Unknown number. I was half expecting a chinese ah lian telling me I've won a lottery of RM 1,000,000 and all I have to do is deposit RM3,000 into some unknown bank account and I'm good to go. I was half right.

A Chinese woman goes, "Wei Pin! Chi liao mei you?" (Have you eaten?)
Me: Err, chi bao liao (yes I've eaten)......*who on earth? why they know my name?*
Chinese woman: Wo shi Miss Tok ah!! Wo yiao chiek fen la! (I'm Miss Tok. I'm gonna marry soon!)

And so on. Turns out Miss Tok, my form 3 maths teacher is gonna marry and she plans to invite some from out batch! Woot. Currently, still planning whether or not to go. 75% sure though. So. Bye.

Popstar!

Kai Zen sent me a link. It was da bomb man. Its a spoof on Rockstar by Nickelback! Superb. Marvelous. Watch it.


http://view.break.com/372438 - Watch more free videos


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Now playing: Nickelback - Rockstar
via FoxyTunes