Thursday, November 29, 2007

A Pink Joke.


Dave is driving down a rural highway late at night. He's been driving for a long, LONG time, and he's starting to get REALLY tired, but he is SO far out in the country that there are no hotels or inns ANYWHERE. So finally he decides that he is tired enough to just pull over at the next house and ask to spend the night. He pulls up at a pink house with pink trim, pink shutters, pink windows, and a pink door. He gets out of his car, walks up the pink sidewalk, up the pink driveway, climbs the pink steps, and rings the pink doorbell. A pink lady comes to answer the pink door. Dave explains to her, "Ma'am, I know it's late, but I'm really tired, and if I could just spend the night, I'd really appreciate it." The pink lady says, "Sure, no problem! Come on inside! Go up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and behind the first pink door on your right you'll find a pink bedroom. Inside the pink closet are some pink sheets, pink blankets, and pink pillowcases that you can put on the pink bed and the pink pillows. Sleep well!" So Dave steps inside the pink door, walks up the pink steps, down the pink hallway, and opens the first pink door on the right. He walks into the pink bedroom, goes to the pink closet, and takes out the pink blanket, the pink sheets, and the pink pillowcases. He puts the pink sheets and pink blanket on the bed, and the pink pillowcases on the pink pillows. He climbs under the pink covers, turns out the pink light, and falls immediately asleep.

Time passes. A second man, Bob, is driving down the same highway. He, too, has been driving for quite some time and desperately needs sleep. But there are no hotels or inns anywhere to be found, so Bob decides to pull over at the next house that comes up. He parks in front of the pink house with pink trim, pink shutters, pink windows, and a pink door. He gets out of his car, walks up the pink sidewalk, up the pink driveway, climbs the pink steps, and rings the pink doorbell. The pink lady comes to answer the pink door. Bob explains to her, "Ma'am, I'm really sorry for ringing your doorbell so late at night, but I've been driving for hours and hours, and all I need is to please spend the night?" The pink lady says, "Sure! Come on in! Go up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and behind the second pink door on your right you'll find a pink bedroom. In the pink closet are some pink sheets, pink blankets, and pink pillowcases that you can put on the pink bed and the pink pillows. Sleep well!" So Bob steps inside the pink door, walks up the pink steps, down the pink hallway, and opens the second pink door on the right. He walks into the pink bedroom, goes to the pink closet, and takes out the pink blanket, the pink sheets, and the pink pillowcases. He puts the pink sheets and pink blanket on the bed, and the pink pillowcases on the pink pillows. He climbs under the pink covers, turns out the pink light, and falls immediately asleep.

Time passes. A third man, Fred, is driving down the same highway. Like Dave and Bob, Fred has been driving for a long time, only Fred has been driving longer that either Dave or Bob. He can barely keep his eyes open. Because there are no hotels or inns, Fred decides to pull over at the next house. He parks in front of the pink house with pink trim, pink shutters, pink windows, and a pink door. He gets out of his car, walks up the pink sidewalk, up the pink driveway, climbs the pink steps, and rings the pink doorbell. The pink lady comes to answer the pink door. Fred, so tired he can barely speak, manages to stammer out, "Ma'am, I hate to bother you so late at night, but I really need some sleep. Could I stay at your house?" The pink lady says, "Sure! Come on inside! Go up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and behind the third pink door on your right you'll find a pink bedroom. In the pink closet are some pink sheets, pink blankets, and pink pillowcases that you can put on the pink bed and the pink pillows. Sleep well!" So Fred staggers through the pink door, walks up the pink stairs, down the pink hallway, and into the third pink door on the right. He walks into the pink bedroom, goes to the pink closet, and takes out the pink blanket, the pink sheets, and the pink pillowcases. He puts the pink sheets and pink blanket on the bed, and the pink pillowcases on the pink pillows. He climbs under the pink covers, turns out the pink light, and falls immediately asleep.

TIME PASSES. The sun rises. Dave wakes up. He climbs out of the pink bed, strips the pink blankets and pink sheets off the pink bed, and takes the pink pillowcases off the pink pillows. He puts the pink blankets, pink sheets, and pink pillowcases into the pink closet, and leaves the pink bedroom. He walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, takes a left, and walks into a pink kitchen with pink cabinets, a pink floor, pink shelves, pink fixtures, and the pink lady, going through the motions of making breakfast. The pink lady says, "Good morning! What would you like for breakfast? We have Corn Flakes or Koko Crunch." Dave says, "Koko Crunch, please." The pink lady goes to the pink cupboard and takes out a pink bowl. She goes to the pink silverware drawer and takes out a pink spoon. She pours some Koko Crunch out of a pink box into the pink bowl, goes to the refrigerator and takes out a pink milk carton, pours the milk into the pink bowl and sets the pink bowl and pink spoon in front of Dave. Dave sits down on the pink chair at the pink table and eats his Koko Crunch. He finishes, thanks the pink lady, goes out of the pink kitchen, out the pink door, down the pink steps, down the pink driveway, down the pink sidewalk, gets into his car and drives away.

A little while later, Bob wakes up. He climbs out of the pink bed, strips the pink blankets and pink sheets off the pink bed, and takes the pink pillowcases off the pink pillows. He puts the pink blankets, pink sheets, and pink pillowcases into the pink closet, and leaves the pink bedroom. He walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, takes a left, and walks into a pink kitchen with pink cabinets, a pink floor, pink shelves, pink fixtures, and the pink lady, going through the motions of making breakfast. The pink lady says, "Good morning! What would you like for breakfast? We have Corn Flakes or Koko Crunch." Bob says, "Koko Crunch, please." The pink lady goes to the pink cupboard and takes out a pink bowl. She goes to the pink silverware drawer and takes out a pink spoon. She pours some Koko Crunch out of a pink box into the pink bowl, goes to the refrigerator and takes out a pink milk carton, pours the milk into the pink bowl and sets the pink bowl and pink spoon in front of Bob. Bob sits down on the pink chair at the pink table and eats his Koko Crunch. He finishes, thanks the pink lady, goes out of the pink kitchen, out the pink door, down the pink steps, down the pink driveway, down the pink sidewalk, gets into his car and drives away.

Finally, Fred wakes up after a long sleep. He climbs out of the pink bed, strips the pink blankets and pink sheets off the pink bed, and takes the pink pillowcases off the pink pillows. He puts the pink blankets, pink sheets, and pink pillowcases into the pink closet, and leaves the pink bedroom. He walks down the pink hallway, down the pink stairs, takes a left, and walks into a pink kitchen with pink cabinets, a pink floor, pink shelves, pink fixtures, and the pink lady, going through the motions of making breakfast. The pink lady says, "Good morning! What would you like for breakfast? We have Corn Flakes or Koko Crunch." Fred says, "Corn Flakes, please." The pink lady goes to the pink cupboard and takes out a pink bowl. She goes to the pink silverware drawer and takes out a pink spoon. She pours some Rice Krispies out of a pink box into the pink bowl, goes to the refrigerator and takes out a pink milk carton, pours the milk into the pink bowl and sets the pink bowl and pink spoon in front of Fred. Fred sits down on the pink chair at the pink table and eats his Corn Flakes. He finishes, thanks the pink lady, goes out of the pink kitchen, out the pink door, down the pink steps, down the pink driveway, down the pink sidewalk, gets into his car and drives away. The moral of the story is: Two out of three people prefer Koko Crunch to Corn Flakes.

Muhuhu. Koko Crunch For The Win!

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Now playing: Pink - You And Your Hand
via FoxyTunes

Monday, November 26, 2007

Decision Decision Decision

Right. I have yet to decide which university I am going. I like the RMIT course but Melb Uni is apparently "more prestigious". And you know, parents nowadays they want their children to be the BEST! Go to the best school, be the best student, meet a few best friends, and get bashed (rhymes with best, no?) up in life.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

THE SECRET TO SUCCESS!

I finally found out the secret to be successful in blogging! I was bumming around Uncle Ro's and NikQuah's and even Koala's blog when it suddenly hit me, an epiphany! My eyes saw hope, my spirits up high, my spear natured endowed me with soaring! Oops.

You see. The secret is to KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. I took all 3 blogs and made a comparison between them, finding out what attract the readers to their own specific blog. I compiled it all.

Presenting, the uber list of "How To Attract Readers To Your Blog!":

1) Good English, preferably without !@#$%^ and random capitalisation

Okay, this is obviously the most important prerequisite if you want your blog to be anticipated by readers. Good English will give a good impression to any first-comers to your blog, further attracting them to read.

Example 1
Wa. TodAe hOr i iSh beRi haPpIi WoRx. My BaObEi sHe So yUk Ma <3 <3 <3~~ We mUaX mUAx In De CineMa LeHx! NoW i So hiGh i BcUm SoHai LiaOz~~!! ThEn Hor, GoT TiS UNclE dAM HiAo NeXt 2 My BaObEi leHz! He keEp kap My baoBei dE BooBies! Tamade! He no Die b4 aH? CCB La HiM! kNn I wAn DiaU HiM LiAoZx... SiBeh aNnOy Me....

Example 2
The stars were never brighter! It was a night to remember. I felt as if I was soaring in the skies! We were in the cinema, watching a romance movie. The and I can feel the chemistry between us. We made out. Our lips met, our tongues tangled themselves around each other. Shortly after, we were already breathless, wanting for more. Until I found this middle aged pervert next to her staring deep into her valleys of happiness. I was already imagining his bruised face.......

See the difference? I'll choose Example 2 any day, man! I would probably read Example 1's blog for a day, then forget it, like how I forget Specialist Maths formulae.


2) Either blog about something funny, something political, something interesting you can present with loads of visual aid, the latest hype, or don't blog at all.

Enough said. All summarised in 1 sentence. Remember, we don't really care about when you bathed your dog or how much gold you farmed within the 1st 10 levels of a DotA match (Oh by the way my personal best is 2 Wraith Bands, 1 Boot and an Eaglehorn and 4 Ancient Tangos within 10 levels.). Also, be sarcastic and play around with words. Blogging about stuff in the news and giving your comments and thoughts about it is also great.


3) Point form, or number form, like what I'm currently doing.

This is for viewing ease. For every new point or number, we give the reader an impression that it is the start of a totally different topic. Helps readers loads.


4) Keep blog updated.

Update at least once a week. If you go missing in action for too long, your readers will slowly diverge away. Also, quality over quantity. I just realised all my "Updating just for the sake of updating" blog posts never made it. Haha. 1 good post a week is better than 7 good-for-nothing posts a week.


5) If possible, try changing your blog layout once in a while.

We all like to see things changing, not static. Kenny Sia is a good example in this. Although very minor changes, they are noticeable and give readers the impression that we are working on the blog. Kenny changes his layout a few times throughout the year. There will be a different layout for each special festival in Malaysia (Chinese New Year, Christmas, Halloween etc).

6) A good introduction, body and conclusion.

Every blog post is like an essay. We have to show our efforts in every aspect of it. We must have a strong build up to what we intend to blog about, give a rocketing climax, and then end your post with a subtle end or a good/funny one-liner.


7) If you are a pretty/hot girl, forget all those on top, just keep posting up to date pictures of you in the dressing room or whatever!

Best served with provocative clothes (Suggestion: birthday suit) that will make guys go "Agaga" over it. Some might right click and save the picture though (Hi Shen Jin!), beware!



Anymore you can point out? Tell me. Leave a comment. Please?

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Now playing: Andy Hui & Evonne Xu - Lian Ai Ping Lu
via FoxyTunes

Monday, November 19, 2007

Geez.

I knew I was good. But not this good.


Your Birthdate: August 1

You are a natural born leader, even if those leadership talents haven't been developed yet.
You have the power and self confidence to succeed in life, and your power grows daily.
Besides power, you also have a great deal of creativity that enables you to innovate instead of fail.
You are a visionary, seeing the big picture instead of all of the trivial little details.

Your strength: Your supreme genius

Your weakness: Your inappropriate sensitivity

Your power color: Gold

Your power symbol: Star

Your power month: January
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

HAIL ME BITCHES. IM A SUPREME GENIUS! MUAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA.

And my power colour is gold. Hmm. Gold = money. Money = power. Gold = power. Yep yep yep.

Just bored. Till next time, then.

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Now playing: Mika - Happy Ending
via FoxyTunes

Friday, November 16, 2007

Whore. Hore. Hor. Ho

Christmas is coming in less than 2 months! Remember when you were young you were told stupid stories about Santa (Okay maybe not so much in Malaysia, here we were told stories about Hang Tuah) till a point where you really believed that a fat dude with a pointy red hat dressed in a red suit and oh not to forget the long, white beard, will actually come down through the chimney and drop you loads of presents when you're asleep on Christmas eve.

Then we realised we had no chimney. But our hopes were still up hoping he can somehow squeeze through the ventilator. And we were so amused he always brought us the right presents. And we were also overjoyed when we found out that the cookie and milk has been eaten, thinking that he liked them.

Then as you grow older you peep into your father's closet and you find a Santa Claus costume. But you still had your hopes up thinking maybe your father wanted to dress up during Halloween as the round red thing.

Then you start wondering why your father would suddenly care about you so much especially during the festive season, asking, "Son, what do you want the most", and you replied with a tone of excitement "A TOY TRAIN! Why you gonna buy one for me dad?", while he replies almost within the split second, usually sternly, "No." This is the point where you start to beg and beg and beg but to no avail.

Then on Christmas day you find yourself a toy train!

Then you grow older. You learn to stay up late. You go downstairs during Christmas hoping to meet Santa. Then you met Santa! Santa was eating your cookie. Santa seems skinnier. Santa was shocked to see you awake. Then you said to Santa "ZOMG WOULDN'T UR'E REINDEERS DIE IF U STAY NEAR THE EQUATOR FOR TOO LONG?". Santa was speechless. Santa seems afraid when you approached him. Santa looked familiar. You pulled Santa's beard. SANTA WAS YOUR FATHER. Then you will be the next idiot to tell this same story.

Anyhow, when you think of Santa the common words that comes to your mind are:
Christmas
Holiday
Presents
Socks
Big
Fat
Obese?
Red
White
Beard
Sleigh
Reindeer
Ho Ho Ho

Speaking of Ho Ho Ho...

Officials in Sydney are warning the upcoming "Santa's" not to use the word as it may be offensive to women. wHOre wHOre wHOre! -_-" What. The. Fack? They where advised to use Ha Ha Ha. Now everyone is Santa. Haha! Yo. Santa here.

Read more here

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Now playing: Ragnarok Online - Christmas in the 13th Month
via FoxyTunes

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Dammit

The cycle is repeating. As much as I dislike it, this good for nothing blog is dying. A slow and painful death indeed. I dunno what to blog about sometimes, and I wonder if blogging something that uses up more than 1% of my brainpower is worth it, considering the pathetic amount of readers I have here. I personally don't read the newspaper often and therefore resulting in this nothingness to blog about most of the time. And heck, how does someone who blog about how humble and great he is fetch a thousand views in weeks? *ahemRoWernahem*

Farkit I think it's time for me to blog about how awesome I really am.

A - "A" Student
W - Wonderful
E - Excellent
S - Stupid? Not.
O - OMGWTFBBQ someone like me exists in this world?
M - Mind of a genius
E - Er, excellent

Yay I'm so awesome. AWESOME! Dances around showing my awesome grooves. Yeah.

And exams ending on the 16th. My life. I can see it coming to me.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

T_T

Exams next week. I can't think of anything to write as my life is so unhappening. I have no life and I stay at home playing MMORPGs, DotA and whatnot. And study. Sad rite? 16th! 16th! Will get my life back on the 16th! Wait for me. Cause I don't know what else you can do~ Geddit? Geddit? Go listen to songs if you don't T_T. Till next time.